This is a groundbreaking post. I'm going to admit to myself why I haven't started to exercise yet despite all the reminders and all the logical reasons I have given myself.
For the past days/weeks/months I kept telling myself na... this is it! Gagalaw na ako! I keep planning for it in my head. I'm going to run sa UP Oval... around Ateneo... inside Moro Lorenzo... dito sa baba ng bahay ko. I keep planning how I'm going to do it. I'm going to run before I go to the office, after office... BUT I JUST CAN'T START!
I keep having this obstacles inside my head. If I run before I go to the office, I have to prepare my run clothes and my office clothes and my towel and my toiletries. I should run at 5 am so there'd be less traffic when I go to Ateneo... but then again, I'd be done by around 7-8am and there'd be traffic. I should run at around 10am. I should run at around 9pm, etc, etc, etc...
And then I thought... Taena bakit sa Ateneo pa? Bakit sa UP pa? I have 400m worth of running ground downstairs, around the "village", bakit di na lang ako sa baba tumakbo???
Kasi nahihiya akong makita ng mga guard na tumatakbo.
Hahahahahah! What a pathetic reason, but it's true. So bakit ako nahihiya? Kasi ayokong isipin nila na tumatakbo ako para pumayat. I guess, I think it is a vain thing to do... to try to lose weight just for the sake of losing weight. I try to think of myself as not a vain person kahit na alam ko paminsan minsan vain din siguro ako hehe! I have never exercised explicitly to lose weight. I have always done physical activities because of a certain goal. It has always been for softball training, or a personal requirement before a climb, or for a game, etc. I never went to the gym kasi gusto kong magpa-sexy.
I think I just find it distasteful for myself to act that way, kasi alam ko di ako ganung tao. I have friends who go to the gym to lose weight and I think it's ok for them kasi sila yun eh, that's how they are. But, I thought, that's not me.
Then again... I thought... POTEK! Ang arte ko! May pa-distasteful distasteful pa akong alam! Leche! Who's pretentious now?!?! Sino ba yung tataba kung iisipin ko yung iniisip ng ibang tao!?!? Sino ba yung magsasayang ng pera kasi kelangan nang bumili ng mga damit kasi di na kasya yung mga damit niya sa kanya??!?!? SILA BA!!?! HINDI!!! AKO!!!
Like what I said in one of my earlier posts... FUCK YOU ALL! PAPAYAT NA AKO!
p.s. already set my alarm clock to 1:30pm so I can run by 3PM... hehehe! I can always say... FUCK YOU ALL!!! pero kilala ko pa rin sarili ko... Procrastination is the name... but by 3PM it will be Ready, Get Set... GAME!