Re the Make-up post... I take it back.

ok. Regarding the things I said about people making their faces up, I take it back.

I guess, I just realized na right ng tao how they want to look like.

Just because I decide that the taong-grasa/couch-potato/mukhang-wala-ng-damit-na-walang-punit look is for me does not mean that people want those look for themselves. I sure as hell don't like it when someone tells me how to dress up (lalo na yung nanay ko kasi pang-matanda yung style niya) so I guess dapat di rin ako nangengealam sa ibang tao....

Pero as I said... di ko talaga gets... pero hayaan ko na sila.

WAW! nagmamachoor machooran ako! Ako na!

Nonoy, you're the man!

Nonoy in action on Heart's Week

I think I last saw him when I was in highschool (1997-2000) I have never thought of this guy again since I saw this picture in Facebook earlier. I'm not even sure what his real name is, but we know him as Nonoy.

Feeling ko, kinder (1990) pa lang (or could be much earlier) eh nasa school na namin siya, Catbalogan 1. From what I remember, he served as an all-around guy. He'd do errands for some teachers but mostly he helped clean up our grounds and always with that same ready smile on his face.

He is physically disabled but he never seemed to lose that smile except that one time when he was frantically trying to stop an all-out fight between me and a boy classmate. I eventually stopped reaching out to try and hit my classmate for fear of hitting Nonoy accidentally.

Yes, he is disabled. But he certainly knew to care enough about us to even try to stop our fight.

Naiyak ako ng nakita ko tong pic na to. Seeing his smile again hurts like a son of a bitch because it reminds me that there are people like Nonoy out there who hasn't been dealt with a fair hand in this world but are still ready to smile and be thankful and be happy because of the simplest things. While there are people like me, hindi naman perpekto ang buhay ko... But I know that I could learn a thing or two about gratefulness and losing that sense of entitlement that most of us feel at times.

This post is a personal reminder to myself and everyone who happens to see this post na anakngtinapa, some people have it worse and are still happy. Do what you can with what you have. Be thankful for it and stop bitching!

Naisip ko lang...

Sabi kasi ni Santo... yung isang officemate ko dito na mahilig sa films... ang magagandang movies... tragic o kaya bitter-sweet kadalasan... kasi nga naman... kung happy happy joy joy nga naman yung  movie... wala ka na masyado kelangan isipin kasi nakuha mo na yung great escape na hinahanap hanap mo pag nanonood ka ng movie...

Pero kung tragic o bitter-sweet... napipilitan ka mag-isip about the "what-might/could-have-beens"... Napanood ko kahapon sa TV (aside from the controversial win ni Pacquiao... I DONK KIR kahit controversial... at kahit mukhang madalas di siya kumukonek sa mga suntok niya... pero kokontra ka pa ba sa Compubox? at sa dalawang judge? besides kung gusto ni Marquez ng sure-win... eh di dapat pinatumba niya si Pacquiao... o kaya sumuntok siya ng mas madami para obvious na obvious sa mga judge na mas madami siyang tama kay Pacquiao... siya tong underdog eh... dapat nagpakitang gilas siya parang wala ng controversy controversy shit.)...

Anyway... as I was saying... napanood ko kahapon sa TV... umaangat na naman daw yung movie industry ng Pilipinas dahil sa Praybeyt Benjamin at sa No Other Woman ata... Haven't watched either... so di ko alam kung ayos ba talaga sila.... Alam ko lang comedy ata yung Praybeyt Benjamin...

Kaya narealize ko... wala nga naman tayo masyadong tragic bitter-sweet Pinoy movies no? (YUNG HINDI Indie-film o kaya gawa ng MMK ha?!) Alam ko lang na mga tragic/bitter-sweet movies eh yung mga kina Vilma Santos, Nora Aunor, etc... na lumabas ATA nung pagkatapos o during Martial Law... kasi nga naman daming inspiration for those (mga libro ni Lualhati Bautista madalas, hehe). Sa dinami-dami ba naman ng natorture nung Martial Law... di ka ba naman ma-inspire o makakuha at least ng resource na pwede mag-account ng real-life experience nila nun.

Ngayong masaya na ang Pilipinas relatively... puro great escapes na ang theme ng mga movies KADALASAN... kung hindi fantasy, rags to riches, o kaya naman pakyut na love story na happy ending yung mga movies natin ngayon... di mo kelangan mag-isip... tatawa ka lang sa sine... lalabas... usap ng onti about sa pinanood mo... tatawa ulit... tapos di mo na siya kailangan isipin ulit.

Yung mga movies na kailangan pag-isipan... not always defined for the Everyman. Madalas may target audience: mga taong ayaw sa bakla, mga nagtataksil, etc. Siguro may kakarampot naman na designed for the regular tao... kaya lang... madalas nga Indie-Film... hindi accessible sa lahat. Kelangan mo tumayming sa sinehan o sa kung saan-saang theater... kung di swak sa schedule mo at kung di mo mabalitaan agad... sorry ka na lang. Hanap ka na lang ng torrent sa internet kung meron man.

So naisip ko... baka kaya masagwa... okay di naman masagwa... more like.... BIHIRA yung matitinong output ng movie industry ng Pilipinas.. kasi nga masayahin tayong mga Pilipino... there is nothing too tragic... there is nothing too bitter para sa atin... baka kasi alam natin na kahit gaano kadepressing (except siguro yung mga sobrang depressed, bipolars, at manic-depressive na tao) ang situation... habang humihinga tayo... darating at darating yung panahon na tatawa rin tayo... lahat ng tragedy pwedeng maiwan sa nakaraan. Di kailangan dalhin lahat ng baggage sa kasalukuyan... kasi mabigat at  mahal ang excess baggage haller! Magtanong ka pa sa airport!

Siguro kelangan na lang natin ituro sa movie makers na wag ibigay parati yung ending... pwede naman minsan tumigil dun sa part na parang mababaliw ka na kung di dumating yung bukas... Yung audience naman pag-isipin nila kung ano nga ba yung mangyayari bukas... Kung ano ba dapat nilang gawin para sumaya yung bukas.

Potaena! Ako na! Ako na! Ako na ang magaling! Hahahah! Bawal magpaka-emo?! At bawal mag-inarte?! Blog ko to! Magpapaka-emo ako kung gusto ko! Hahahahahahahah!

Let's Go Party!

Tangina tawang tawa ako sa “Let’s Go party” ng 2ne1!

Hahahhahah! Ngayon ko lang narinig ng matino yung first part! Hahahhahahahaha!

Akala ko nung start… French yung kanta… kasi “On y va…*something* *something*” yung unang line. Isa sa mga kakarampot na phrases na naretain ko from my French class nung college eh yung On y va, meaning "Let's go". Kaya naman maya-maya lang, narealize ko… translation ng “Let’s Go Party” into iba-ibang language yung first stanza.

Pano ko na-confirm for sure?!

Kasi biglang nagsalita si Sandara: “Punta tayong piyesta!”

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Tanginang yan!

Di naman masyadong specific kung anong party yung pupuntahan nila no? "Let's Go Party" nga naman!

Hahahaha! Pero may point rin naman si Sandara... ang baduy nga naman kung sinabi niya na: Punta tayo sa handaan! o kaya.... punta tayo sa salu-salo! Hahhahahha! Old school masyado!

Hmmm... napaisip ako... ano nga ba yung modern Filipino word for party?...

Parang wala akong maisip....

(todoing! *light bulb sound*)

ALAM KO NA!!!!

Dapat sinabi ni Sandara: "Punta tayong parteeeeeh!!!"

Hahahhahahahha!

Sinong masaya?! AKO!!!

Pronunciation

I've been wondering...

Why is WHAT, WHEN, WHERE, and WHY pronounced the way they are and WHO is pronounced the way it is?

It doesn't make sense!

I kind of get why...

• WHAT is pronounced as 'wat' instead of 'hat'
• WHEN is pronounced as 'wen' instead of 'hen'
• WHERE is pronounced as 'wer' instead of 'her'
• WHY is pronounced as 'wai/wy' instead of 'hai/hy/high'

Hat, Hen, Her, and High may mean something else entirely...

So... why is WHO pronounced 'hoo' instead of 'woo'? Di ba? Di ba? Para man lang consistent at least!

WOO ARE YOU?! Hahahaah!

What's in a Name?

Madami akong pangalan. Pero either English, Hebrew, or Japanese sounding siya. Never Filipino sounding. Ay except pala pag minumurder ng mga pipol yung pangalan ko at nagiging Mayumi... which is not a name. More like a description of me.

Hahahahahahahah!

Habang nagbabasa kasi ng email correspondence namin dito sa trabaho, narealize ko... Homaygeds ang daming weird na pangalan sa mundo. Iniisip ko very familiar lang sa ating mga Pilipino yung mga English/American/Mexican/Spanish at kakarampot na Chinese sounding na mga pangalan kasi kasama sila sa history natin.

Yung mga Indian na pangalan na nakikita ko sa mga email... ang hirap i-pronounce/spell... Feeling ko kung binanggit yung isang pangalan... di ko sigurado kung ano talaga spelling niya... eh kaso siyempre nakikita ko yung spelling... so di ko alam pano yung pronunciation.

At kahit nga medyo familiar naman yung mga Chinese names sa atin because of our close relations... sounds weird pa rin yung ibang pangalan na nakikita ko. Alam mo yun?! Yung ibang pangalan parang mga words lang na ini-imbento ng mga bata kapag nag-i-intsik-intsikan. Tapos di nila alam may ganun pala talagang words/names. Hahaha!

Medyo sad lang kasi at least yung ibang tao... pag nakita mo pangalan nila, obvious agad kung anong lahi sila. Yung mga pangalan nating mga Pilipino... pag nakita mo... minsan parang pirated version ng mga English na pangalan lang kasi may dagdag na 'H' lang siya somewhere o kaya naman yung F nagiging "PH" o kaya naman may dinagdag lang na "LYN" sa dulo o kaya naman parang power combination ng mga magulang kasi pinagdikit lang na first o kaya naman last syllable ng pangalan ng parents niya.

Ang alam ko lang atang pangalan na very Filipino (besides Mayumi) ay Sinag, Bayani, Dakila, at Malaya. Pero yung Malaya pa nga eh nickname lang na galing sa Himalayas... so technically.. hindi siya Filipino name talaga.

Hmmm... pag ako nagka-anak. Pilipinong pangalan ibibigay ko. Ano nga ba mga astig na Pinoy name? Himig lang naiisip ko sa ngayon. Kaso pano kung tone-deaf yung anak ko... hahahaha baka isipin ng mga tao ang sarcastic kong nanay. hahahahah! Pero sabagay ako naman to... singer kaya ako! Di pdeng tone deaf anak ko... pwedeng di niya alam ang lyrics.... pero hello! Himig naman pangalan niya... hindi Titik!

And yes! taena! 500 years ko ginoogle yung translation ng Lyrics sa Filipino! Hahahah!

According to Fabio...

nope not Fabio my car, Fabio... my favorite contestant in Top Chef.

The world is there. You should just go for it. You are the only shadow standing in your own sunshine.


I LOOOOVEEEEEE IT!!!!

Relaaak!

Ayan medyo di na ako ganun ka-bad trip.

Medyo nakakarelak din pag alam mong di lang ikaw napipikon sa mundo... or rather... sa trabaho niyo.

Taena sobrang totoo lang talaga ng Misery loves company!

Di naman sa mangbabadtrip din ako ng tao... pero kasi pag nalalaman mo na di lang ikaw nakakaramdamn ng unfairness ng mundo... medyo you feel a little bit better about the world kasi... di lang siya unfair sa yo... unfair rin siya sa maraming tao... which, I guess, makes it a little bit fairer...

A little bit lang... kasi meron pa ring mga shiyet na sinuswerteng nilalang lang talaga!

HAAAAAAAAAAAY!!! Bakit ba walang poging mayamang matangkad na may abs na super funny at super kinis na pdeng pakasalan agad!?!?!

Emo mode.

Wala lang. Kanina pa ako emo.

Thanks friends for the texts/calls/emails na pangpa-cheer sa akin.

Di ko na alam kung may tumor ba sa ulo ko pressing down on kung-ano-mang-part-ng-utak-yung-in-charge-of-emotions ko kaya sobrang roller coaster ako ngayon. Although... siguro ok na rin to kasi at least pag emo ka... marami kang iniisip na sad, true! pero ok na rin yun kesa sheer boredom. May iniisip ka nga, pero batong bato naman yung utak mo sa iniisip mo.

Siguro alam ko kung bakit ako emo. Ayoko lang mag-delve into it or maybe aminin sa sarili ko yung totoong rason kasi baka sobrang depressing yung rason na makita ko at bigla na lang ako tumalon ng building. Exagg alam ko... pero you get the point!?

Other people may relish facing their problems head on kasi feeling nila sobrang strong nilang tao, as for me... I have an aversion to it... I usually procrastinate para lang maiwasan ko yung mga bagay na ayaw kong gawin.

OO MALI YUN! Alam ko! Pero kasi!!! Alam ko naman na mas mabuti pang gawin na agad yung mga kailangan gawin para di na siya nakatambay sa surface ng utak mo... BUT STILL!!! Di ko alam pero eh sa yun yung naka-program sa utak ko... postpone tasks I'd rather do without as long as I possibly can... (Now you know kung bakit gang ngayon di pa rin ako cleared completely sa dati kong kumpanya.)

Taena... napapaisip tuloy ako ngayon... uncomfortable thoughts o sheer boredom? What would I prefer?!

Taena! Sabi nga nila think outside the box....

HAPPY THOUGHTS COME TO ME!!! Ako na ang magulo ang bangs!

Mwahahaha!

Ako na ang bipolar!

Narealize ko lang... may inaasar rin pala akong highschool friend dati sa admirer niyang super gross. Alam kong grossed out siya... pero kasi sa sobrang gross ng manliligaw niya, eh pinagtatawanan lang talaga namin yung imaginary love team nila.

Ok. Sounds super mean. Pero ganito. Di ko na sobrang lalaitin yung panlabas na anyo nung lalaki, kahit na sobrang kalait-lait, pero mehn! FEELING NIYA SOBRANG GWAPO NIYA LANG AT MAY CHANCE SIYA DUN SA KAIBIGAN NAMIN! Tapos akala mo kung makapanglait dun kay Barry, isang kaklase pa namin na lalaki, EH ANG GWAPO GWAPO NIYA LANG! Eh hello! Tangina kahit physically nakalamang siya kay Barry ng isang tabo eh baon na baon naman sa lupa yung ugali niya kasi sobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaang yabaaaaaaaaaang laaaaaaaaaaang!!! Eeew!

But anyway, nagkita ata kami ni Hera last, last week tapos pinaalala ko yung highschool moments na yun na pilit niya na atang ibinaon sa limot... eh kaso siyempre natatawa pa rin ako kaya kabisado ko pa at kaya ko pa irecite yung mga annoying moments niya with her super gross unwanted suitor.

Kanina, tinext ko si Hera apologizing.... kasi ngayon ko lang narealize kung gaano ka-nakakapikon malagay sa situation na yun! Hahaahahaha! Although feeling ko mas gross yung pinagdaanan ni Hera kasi ni-paint pa siya nung lalaki sa oil painting project namin dati sa art, binigyan pa siya ng stuff toy at pabango... Although... wala naman kasi nagsabi sa kanya na tanggapin niya yung mga regalo nung hayuf na yun no!? Hahaha pero sabagay super bait rin kasi si Hera at times... siguro ayaw niya masyadong gawing powdery stuff yung puso nung hayup na yun! Hahaha!

Natatawa pa rin ako pag naalala ko yung moments na yun ni Hera, pero I will try my hardest na hindi na siya asarin dun kahit sobrang nakakatawa lang.

Am I disabled?

At siyempre nagbabasa pa rin ako ng Wikipedia... while reading on Melatonin, napunta ako sa isang article about DSPS (Delayed Sleep Phase Syndrome). Symptoms which apply to me:

• Sleep later than 2 AM (Akala ko dati kasalanan lang ng mga series na pinapanood ko!)
• Exhibit normal sleep quality if not required to maintain a strict schedule. (Thank you Flexi-time)
• No difficulty in maintaining sleep once asleep (YES! Mantika ako!)
• Severe to Absolute inability to advance sleep-phase to earlier hours (Chowee! Copy-paste.. nahirapan ako i-paraphrase eh... Anyway, dati sinubukan ko matulog ng 3AM instead of my usual 5AM... nakatulog ako 7AM na tuloy.. resulta ng kakapilit matulog ng maaga! Hahaha!)
• skip sleep for an entire day then sleep 12-18 hours the next day. (Yuhuh!)

Potaena! Akala ko tamad lang ako bumangon dahil sa lamig... PAKSHET! I HAVE A DISORDER!!!!

From Wikipedia: Accdg to Americans with Disabilities Act of 1990, "disability" is defined as a "physical or mental impairment that substantially limits one or more major life activities". "Sleeping" is defined as a "major life activity" in § 12102(2)(a) of the statute.

Taena kung Kano lang ako... pde na ako mag-park sa space for the Disabled! And more importantly kung sumali ako sa kahit anong American Pageantry... at tinanong ako kung ano ang isa sa mga major life accomplishments ko... SLEEPING would be a valid answer.

This time last night (or early morning)...

... I just woke up from a heart-thumping, nearly-horrifying dream. Ngayon naman patulog pa lang ako. I've been watching out for torrents of Conan's latest episodes pero wala pa ring lumalabas, so I had to settle for Oprah's Ultimate Favorite Things Part 1 lang muna.

I thought it was a happy episode, but no! Nakaka-depress!!! Hahahahaha! Sorry na! Inggitera akong tunay. Ok pa ako nung namigay siya ng diamond watch at ng mamahaling bag at shoes, keri ko pa... Kaso nung linabas na yung Nikon D3100 SLR... the green-eyed monster emerged! Hahahaha!

I decided that I only want a Nikon P7000 because I think it's something I can save up for without regretting once I buy it, pero SHET!!! If only someone would give me a Nikon D3100...

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!! I WANT ONE TOO!!!!

That episode of Oprah was my nightmare for today.

I really am content with what I have, but when you learn about the things that you COULD have... HOMAYGEDS! Contentment flies out the window... while envy saunters in!

It is hard to ask for help when you're in really deep shit.

I just heard this on TV:

When you're drowning, it's hard to ask for help when you're mouth is full of water.

Why I haven't been exercising...

This is a groundbreaking post. I'm going to admit to myself why I haven't started to exercise yet despite all the reminders and all the logical reasons I have given myself.

For the past days/weeks/months I kept telling myself na... this is it! Gagalaw na ako! I keep planning for it in my head. I'm going to run sa UP Oval... around Ateneo... inside Moro Lorenzo... dito sa baba ng bahay ko. I keep planning how I'm going to do it. I'm going to run before I go to the office, after office... BUT I JUST CAN'T START!

I keep having this obstacles inside my head. If I run before I go to the office, I have to prepare my run clothes and my office clothes and my towel and my toiletries. I should run at 5 am so there'd be less traffic when I go to Ateneo... but then again, I'd be done by around 7-8am and there'd be traffic. I should run at around 10am. I should run at around 9pm, etc, etc, etc...

And then I thought... Taena bakit sa Ateneo pa? Bakit sa UP pa? I have 400m worth of running ground downstairs, around the "village", bakit di na lang ako sa baba tumakbo???

Kasi nahihiya akong makita ng mga guard na tumatakbo.


Hahahahahah! What a pathetic reason, but it's true. So bakit ako nahihiya? Kasi ayokong isipin nila na tumatakbo ako para pumayat. I guess, I think it is a vain thing to do... to try to lose weight just for the sake of losing weight. I try to think of myself as not a vain person kahit na alam ko paminsan minsan vain din siguro ako hehe! I have never exercised explicitly to lose weight. I have always done physical activities because of a certain goal. It has always been for softball training, or a personal requirement before a climb, or for a game, etc. I never went to the gym kasi gusto kong magpa-sexy.

I think I just find it distasteful for myself to act that way, kasi alam ko di ako ganung tao. I have friends who go to the gym to lose weight and I think it's ok for them kasi sila yun eh, that's how they are. But, I thought, that's not me.

Then again... I thought... POTEK! Ang arte ko! May pa-distasteful distasteful pa akong alam! Leche! Who's pretentious now?!?! Sino ba yung tataba kung iisipin ko yung iniisip ng ibang tao!?!? Sino ba yung magsasayang ng pera kasi kelangan nang bumili ng mga damit kasi di na kasya yung mga damit niya sa kanya??!?!? SILA BA!!?! HINDI!!! AKO!!!

Like what I said in one of my earlier posts... FUCK YOU ALL! PAPAYAT NA AKO!

p.s. already set my alarm clock to 1:30pm so I can run by 3PM... hehehe! I can always say... FUCK YOU ALL!!! pero kilala ko pa rin sarili ko... Procrastination is the name... but by 3PM it will be Ready, Get Set... GAME!

It's always darkest before the dawn

The first half of my 2010 was one of the darkest of my life. Sure, a star would flicker now and again, but the dark would always come back. It was a time when I didn't know what to do with my life. I was agitated the entire time but I didn't know what to do about it.

I wanted to do something, anything... for myself, but I didn't know what it was. Knowing what you want and doing everything you can to get it but not quite getting it... is one thing. You can always try again another time or find another way how to get it. NOT KNOWING WHAT YOU WANT is another kind of a sonofabitch.

I'm not saying I know what I want in my life now, but at least I know some of the things I want to do... for now. I guess, I always knew I wanted to do these things but it's not easy to own up to what you want when you don't know where to start, when you have no idea HOW to start, when you have no inkling if you can really do it on your own.  But I guess the AAs got it right. The first step is admitting that you want it. THEN you find a way.

The second half of 2010 was my dawn. I got off my back, stood on my own feet, and restarted my life. It was still not the best of times. It is not yet the best of times. But at least... I got over one of the not-so-good times of my life.

I believe 2011 is my day. I know that it is a cliche to reboot on January. But then again, it is a cliche because it works and it is always good to start at the beginning. It may not work for some people, but I sure as hell am gonna try to make it work for me.

BESIDES, my birthday this year is 11-22-11... isn't it uber-fun!?!? Hahahahaha!

Reminder to Self

GALAW GALAW KUNG AYAW MONG MASTROKE!

Taena! Kelangan ko na talaga mag-damoves kung gustong kung umakyat ng Kinabalu at bumabang di wasak... at kahit sabi nila di daw ganun kahirap...

at my fitness level... homaygeds... I'm deds!

Tama na excuses! Potaena! Bakit kasi ang galing kung gumawa ng rason.

Sabi nga ni Sir Hillary... it is not the mountain we conquer but ourselves... but why am I super strong?!?!? Super strong sa katamaran! PAKDATSHET!

Even if I don't believe in resolutions... at kahit di gumagana sa akin ang pangungutya ng iba... ganito na lang...

FUCK YOU ALL PAPAYAT AKO AT MAGIGING SUPER DUPER EXTRA FIT!

Yes... kelangan mag-mura para feel na feel na feel!

One of the Best Weddings Ever

I just attended one of the best weddings ever.

The wedding ceremony did not take as much time as other wedding ceremonies I have had to attend.

The backdrop of the wedding was gorgeous and my sweat glands did not have to work overtime to cool me off.

In the wedding reception, we were not made to wait to near starvation before we could eat.

It was the first wedding I attended where it was Ok to bring GP (Gin Premium) to the wedding with coffee for chaser to warm us up.

It was the first wedding I attended where the bride was being ribbed good-naturedly, albeit a bit too loud, while she was walking down the "aisle". More importantly, the relatives and the "other" friends were not being uptight about it.

Kaso shet lang sa lahat ng shet, for a while, I forgot who the bride and groom were and decided to wear super-duper-high-heeled pumps kasi the dress code in the invite indicated semi-formal/formal.

Result: Super awkward hike towards the wedding location while creating seed holes for new trees.

What I learned: Climbing down is more difficult than climbing up. High-heeled or hiking shoes: it doesn't matter. 4-inch heels just make you look more stupid.

According to Dr. Seuss...

Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple.

I couldn't agree more!

Right now, I'm procrastinating because I have to ask some clarifications concerning one of my tasks. Kaso... POTAENA DI KO ALAM PANO KO ITATANONG YUNG TANONG KO!

I'm trying to compose a question which is basically a YES or NO question... I just want to know if what I understood from the specs is correct. And if I'm wrong, I just want to know the correct interpretation (which I think is just one simple sentence if coming from someone who actually understands the task).

Pero shet sa lahat ng shet di ko alam pano ko icocompose yung tanong ko using just a simple interrogative sentence.

My Brain: OUCH!

So you want to be a writer? (Do I?)

Wala lang... I found this poem. Tapos naisip ko... onga!

Di ko alam kung gusto ko ba maging writer or whatevs, pero minsan... I write kasi gusto ko lang may mai-post... Pero in fairness to me... I've also had that feeling when all I could think about is writing about something that happened . Taena, minsan nga sa sobrang dami kong gustong sabihin in such a short period of time eh pinuputakti yung sinulat ko ng wrong grammars at sandamakmak na mali-maling punctutations. But nevertheless, pag natapos ko naman isulat ang kung ano man.... charap! Feeling writer na naman akO! Hahahaahha! Howelllllsss!!!

Here it goes...

So you want to be a writer?

Charles Bukowski

if it doesn't come bursting out of you

in spite of everything,

don't do it.

unless it comes unasked out of your

heart and your mind and your mouth

and your gut,

don't do it.

if you have to sit for hours

staring at your computer screen

or hunched over your

typewriter

searching for words,

don't do it.

if you're doing it for money or

fame,

don't do it.

if you're doing it because you want

women in your bed,

don't do it.

if you have to sit there and

rewrite it again and again,

don't do it.

if it's hard work just thinking about doing it,

don't do it.

if you're trying to write like somebody

else,

forget about it.

if you have to wait for it to roar out of

you,

then wait patiently.

if it never does roar out of you,

do something else.

if you first have to read it to your wife

or your girlfriend or your boyfriend

or your parents or to anybody at all,

you're not ready.

don't be like so many writers,

don't be like so many thousands of

people who call themselves writers,

don't be dull and boring and

pretentious, don't be consumed with self-

love.

the libraries of the world have

yawned themselves to

sleep

over your kind.

don't add to that.

don't do it.

unless it comes out of

your soul like a rocket,

unless being still would

drive you to madness or

suicide or murder,

don't do it.

unless the sun inside you is

burning your gut,

don't do it.

when it is truly time,

and if you have been chosen,

it will do it by

itself and it will keep on doing it

until you die or it dies in you.

there is no other way.

and there never was.

Papayat na Ako!!!! Pag naregularize ako...

Mwahehe!

I never followed any diet... kasi I love food. Nor did I follow any exercise regimen just for the sake of slimming down. Masyado akong tamad for it. I know I need to lose weight. My mama, pictures, weighing scale, and clothes can attest to that... vehemently. Pero di ko lang talaga kayang tumayo at gumalaw just for the sake of "health" and "good looks".

Mas masarap humilata sa higaan at mag-series marathon kesa mag-medyas, mag-sapatos at pumili ng outfit na di ako masyado pagmumukhaing mataba pero appropriate naman for exercise.

Most times, I don't care about my weight... pero pag naghahanap na ako ng damit na isusuot sa events... saka ko naiisip na... fuck! Kasya sana ako sa damit ko 2 years ago! Swak sana yung dress na yun for this event. But alas! I am 2 years and 30 lbs too late to fit in that styooopeeed dress!

BUTI NA LANG!

I have decided to climb Mt. Kota Kinabalu next year! I will schedule my flight and book a room as soon as maregularize ako! Kelangan maregularize muna ako... mamaya niyan wala ako pambayad sa flight and room ko... Ayoko maging taong grasa sa Malaysia nO!

Exercise here I come!!!!