(Started on Sep 15, 2010, Wednesday Afternoon)
I didn't really realize that such a short and commonly used word is such a loaded word until I realized that I did not want to refer to myself, YET, as the "wife" of anyone, if asked about my relationship with that particular someone. Not that anyone is just dying for me to call him "husband"... I'm just saying... I don't think I can handle the responsibilities that come with it just yet.
As I've told my closest friends, WHEN I was a kid, I've always seen myself growing up to be a mother of a family. I've always taken it for granted that one day I'm going to marry a guy and live happily ever after. (I find it particularly interesting that as I was typing down the phrase "happily ever after" I haven't even finished typing the word "happily" when I had to stop composing this entire piece altogether.)
(Continued on Sep 17, 2010, Friday evening, around 8:15PM)
As I was saying, I always saw myself with a family to nurture and care for and shout at... But right now, with the lifestyle that I have (I'm not saying it is THAT great, but I do enjoy my life most times), I think a guy and a kid will just be, as we Warays say it... samok-samok!
I'm not saying that I'm a such a cold-hearted bitch that I can't tolerate kids. On the contrary, I do enjoy my nephews (sons of my cousins). I love, love, love, love playing games, watching movies, and going to the beach with them (I am always the designated nanny at the beach because I always, always enjoy swimming with no care for my melanin-rich-skin's color). One of the better parts of spending time with them, however, is that the moment I want to rest, I can always return them to their mothers and continue with whatever it is I want to do.
With regards to getting hitched, I really just don't want the part where I have to care if my guy has eaten or not and worrying whether he got mugged or whatever because he's still out late at night... but the part I don't care for the most... is the fact that I have to tell someone when I want to go somewhere... I'm not even used to telling my parents about where I go on my out-of-towns!
Bottomline: I'm still selfish... and... I just haven't found the guy that wouldn't make me mind about stuff that I would usually mind. Mwahehhe!!