Apparently, I'm an ass.

I usually tell my friends and parents that I'm fine on my own. I don't need anyone to complete me and all that shit. I do mean it when I say that. But it doesn't necessarily mean I feel that way all the time and that I don't want anyone beside me; in short, on my emo moments, I do feel lonely minsan.

I like being on my own because I decide how I want to spend my time/money/thoughts on without anyone complaining about it or at least without having to care if someone else likes what I'm doing. I love being on my own and having myself for my company. You ask why? William Wallace said it best, "Freeeeedooooooom!!!!!"

While I was walking, on my way to commute back home, I suddenly realized... Hmmm... I'd like for someone to like me. It's not a specific someone, just a hypothetical one. And I'd like for it to happen not because I want to be liked; although, it probably is a part of it and I'm just repressing it. I'd like for someone to like me mainly because I would really enjoy seeing him squirm once he realizes he likes me and I could tell him, "Sorry, I really don't have time for this" and I would mean what I'm saying.

I realize that it's a shitty thing to do but I don't mean it in a malicious-hahaha-i-like-seeing-you-in-pain-kind-of-way. I just really do think it would be really funny to tell someone that you don't have time and you don't want to have the time, even if you did, for what most people want. And besides being funny, I think it would also feel like some kind of power over something. I don't need it and somebody else does and I can throw it away easily because I have this power of not needing whatever that is.

And that's when it came to me... All this time, I thought I was this loving caring, understanding, although a bit cold, person. Akala ko. At sabi nga nung kanta, mali pala ang akala ko.

Apparently, I'm an ass.

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